Oh, Chaos! Help me!
by 1in100Authors
Summary: Percy gets betrayed by his friends and Annabeth dumps him like yesterday's trash when another son of Poseidon joins camp. He joins Chao's Army as Commander. Then he falls for Artemis... or was it Zoe Nightshade? Okay, not quite. PARODY of Chaos. (Yes, the bad summary was to mimic the usual quality of Chaos stories' summaries. Sorry, literature gods. Like them, I have failed you.)


**I remember a time when the Percy Jackson fanfiction archive had some really nice stories. Low-key romance, well-written plots, proper use of grammar, usage of spell-check, the goddess of PJO fanfiction: greenconverses...**

 **Now, the fandom has changed greatly. With Chaos fanfics all over the place, I can barely read anything. The most followed community is full of Chaos stories. Now, someone already made this kind of fanfic and so I have decided to target a different part of the whole 'Chaos' thing. Why is it that Percy always gets dumped and falls for either Artemis or Zoe? How** ** _dare_** **you insult them in such a manner?!**

 **So, here is my own little thing about how Percy gets dumped, betrayed, and gets tossed out of Camp.**

 **Usual disclaimer applies. And also an honorable mention to conjure-at-your-own-risk, my inspiration for this little bit of writing. If you like this, make sure to check out her story, "A Failed Ultimatum".**

* * *

Percy was confused.

This was normal, of course, but the inhabitants of Camp Half-Blood were _not_ acting normal. In fact, they were acting borderline crazy.

A new guy had come in - another son of Poseidon, apparently, and they had immediately hit it off. The thing was that with his arrival came a huge change: Camp and the gods were going nuts.

Percy had been ordered to head to Mt. Olympus for some meeting; which was weird, considering the gods had been all but silent until that random moment in time just days after the new guy, Patrick Johnson, had come.

Patrick had admitted that it was extremely weird. He told Percy that, "One moment, they were welcoming me like a normal person. Then, they were acting like I was their hero or something like that. Someone said that I was 'so much better than you'. Then they all got confused looks on their faces and shook their heads quickly, as if they were trying to snap out of a trance."

That wasn't all. One day, Percy saw Annabeth walking towards him with an extremely odd look in her eyes. She had waltzed up to him and began to speak, "Percy, I need to talk to you. I'm br-"

He panicked, thinking that she was going to break up with him. What had he done wrong?

But then she furrowed her eyebrows, and that odd look faded. He could have sworn that she'd muttered, "Wasn't I just at the arena a few seconds ago? Weird." It didn't matter _what_ she'd said; as long as she wasn't breaking up with him.

Percy walked up to the meeting area on Mt. Olympus as the gods glared down at him.

"Due to the new guy who has gone on absolutely no quests but for some unknown reason we believe him to be better than you, you are banished from Camp."

 _What's going on? Everyone's gone bonkers!_

Percy left quickly, hearing the gods' confusion at being in the throne room, mentioning how they were watching Hephaestus TV just moments ago. _I've got to get to the bottom of this!_

He went back to Camp as quickly as possible, only to see a confused Annabeth backing away from Patrick.

"What's going on?" Percy inquired.

"I don't know," Annabeth replied, perplexed. "I was practicing archery just a few moments ago, and then I was standing really close to Patrick."

"You just came up to me with a weird look in your eyes and kissed me," Patrick said, equally as flabbergasted.

"I kissed you?" Annabeth asked. " _Ew!"_

"Hey! I'm not _that_ gross!"

"It doesn't matter! I just kissed my boyfriend's half-brother! That's absolutely disgusting!" Annabeth complained.

Percy finally snapped out of his state of stupor. "You _kissed_ him while being possessed?"

"Apparently," she muttered. "Why else would I ever kiss _him?"_

 _"HEY!"_

Annabeth shuddered.

Patrick pouted.

Percy rubbed his head in confusion.

Suddenly, a human-shaped hole decorated like outer space manifested itself in front of them. The hole seemed to look around in utter confusion.

"I CAN MOVE!" It yelled gleefully.

"Who are _you?"_ Annabeth asked incredulously.

"Why, I'm Chaos, of course!" Chaos answered. "But I'm pretty sure that I used to be a void..."

Percy groaned. "This is _so_ weird."

"I can m- Percy! So sorry about the break-up with your girlfriend, Annabeth. I'm in need of an army, so would you like to join and be its commander? You seem like a good guy, with the purest heart in this uni- I'm sorry, what was I saying?"

Suddenly, Artemis and Zoe Nightshade appeared and yelled together, "I LOVE YOU, PERCY!"

"Ugh," Percy sighed. "Whatever. I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow this stuff'll clear up."

Zoe disappeared due to the fact that she was supposed to be deceased, but Artemis had to face Annabeth's wrath. Even with her godly powers, she didn't stand a chance against the irate girlfriend who had gone through far too much that particular day.

* * *

 _In Another Universe..._

"Why aren't these characters _LISTENING TO ME?!"_ The fanfiction writer shouted, frustrated. "I already wrote the disclaimer! I'm allowed to do whatever I want with these characters! _Listen,_ you little pipsqueaks! _OBEY ME!"_

* * *

 **Well... *ahem* That's done and over with...**


End file.
